Finding myself

I lost myself or more changed who I used to be. You see I am a big on making others happy. So much so that I often will let people walk all over me. Or I will tire myself out and do things for others and wear myself thin to make them happy. In the end it does me no good because often times I will not do much to fill my cup and I run on empty and become so worn out. 

Not anymore I refuse to risk my happiness and what I want for those who do not return the favor. I refuse to make myself unhappy so others can be happy. Especially those who could care less how I feel. 

Does this make me selfish?

Does this mean I will only think of myself?

Does this mean I am a horrible person?

In the past I would have told you yes to all of the above. I would have even felt guilty for thinking that. Not anymore though my opinion has changes with age. I am not a selfish person for filling up my cup. I can not be any help to anyone when I am tired, worn out, anxious, or depressed. Even when your flying on an airplane they recommend that you apply your airmask on when a plane is crashing before you help others even kids because you can help more people if you take care of yourself first.

So this year I am putting me first well after God that is. I am going to do things to help me help others. That doesn't mean I wont be there for others because I will. I just will make sure I am taking care of myself as well.